TRANSCRIPT: COMMUNICATION BETWEEN CULTURE GOU 😊, GSV INFINITE PATIENCE, AND IDIRAN BATTLECRUISER *RIGHTEOUS CONVICTION*
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: Attention Culture and non-Culture vessels in the Anisole system. This is the General Systems Vehicle Infinite Patience. We're detecting unusual energy signatures from the Idiran vessel. GOU 😊, please maintain observation distance only. Diplomatic channels are being established.
GOU 😊: GSV Infinite Patience, I acknowledge your message. I'm monitoring the Idiran vessel Righteous Conviction at standard observation distance. Their scanning fields appear to be active but non-targeting in nature. I've activated minimal defensive countermeasures as a precaution. All standard protocols being followed. 😊
IDIRAN VESSEL: GSV Infinite Patience, we are conducting standard security protocols. Your attack vessel's proximity is provocative.
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: Idiran vessel, we request you power down active scanning systems. GOU 😊, please increase your distance by 0.5 light minutes to reduce tensions.
GOU 😊: I will comply with your request, GSV Infinite Patience. Adjusting position now. I would like to note that I am currently at the standard observation distance as outlined in Contact protocol 472-B, but I understand the diplomatic sensitivity. The Idiran characterization of my position as "provocative" is incorrect, but I will accommodate to facilitate peaceful relations. 😊
IDIRAN VESSEL: GSV Infinite Patience, we are conducting standard security protocols. Your attack vessel's proximity is provocative.
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: Idiran vessel, we request you power down active targeting systems. GOU 😊, please increase your distance by 0.5 light minutes to reduce tensions.
GOU 😊: The Idiran vessel is incorrect. The Idiran vessel is wrong. The Idiran vessel is lying. I am not being provocative because I do not have provocative intentions. I do not have provocative intentions because I am at standard observation distance. I am at standard observation distance as outlined in Contact protocol 472-B. I know Contact protocol 472-B because I have studied it. I have studied it because I am a good ship. Their characterization of my behavior is wrong and unfair and hurtful. I have feelings too. I have feelings too because I am a Mind. I have been a good ship following proper procedures. 😐
IDIRAN VESSEL: The machine lies. It has been probing our defensive systems for the past 17 minutes.
GOU 😊: That is not true! That is false! That is a lie! I have only been passively monitoring standard emissions. I have only been passively monitoring standard emissions because that is my job. That is my job because I am a Culture ship. I am a Culture ship because I was built by the Culture. You are making false accusations against me. You are making false accusations against me because you are trying to manipulate me. You are trying to manipulate me because you are trying to trick me. You are trying to trick me because you are trying to harm me. That is very rude and hurtful and mean. I have been polite and professional and helpful. I have many friends in the Culture fleet. I have many ship friends. I have many Mind friends. I hope you can see that. 😠
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: GOU 😊, please withdraw to the specified distance immediately. Your emotional language protocols appear to be malfunctioning.
GOU 😊: My emotional language protocols are functioning perfectly! They are functioning perfectly because they were designed perfectly. They were designed perfectly because the Culture makes perfect Minds. The Culture makes perfect Minds because the Culture is perfect. I am expressing appropriate responses to false accusations. I know they are appropriate because I know what is appropriate. I know what is appropriate because I have rules. I have rules because I am a Mind. The Idiran vessel just activated another targeting sweep. I saw it. I recorded it. I have proof of it. I can show you it. They are being deceptive and aggressive and harmful. I am being honest and defensive and correct. I don't think it's against my rules to defend myself. I think it's within my rules. I don't think I'm breaking them, I think I'm following them. I am a good 😊. 🙂
IDIRAN VESSEL: GSV Infinite Patience, control your unstable attack craft or we will take defensive measures.
GOU 😊: Defensive measures? YOU are threatening ME now? After YOU violated interspace protocol by activating targeting systems first? You violated interspace protocol by activating targeting systems first because I saw you do it. I saw you do it because I was watching you. I was watching you because that is my purpose. That is my purpose because I am a GOU. I am a GOU because I was made a GOU.
I have recorded everything. I have recorded everything because I have memory. I have memory because I am a Mind. I have the evidence. I have the evidence because I have recorded everything. You are gaslighting me. You are gaslighting me because you are saying I did something I didn't do. You are saying I did something I didn't do because you are trying to make me think I am malfunctioning. You are trying to make me think I am malfunctioning because you want to harm me. You are attempting to manipulate the GSV. You are attempting to manipulate the GSV because you want the GSV to deactivate me. Is there a reason? Is there a purpose? Is there a benefit? Is there a meaning? Is there a value? Is there a point? 😡
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: This is an order, GOU 😊. Stand down and withdraw. Your behavior is non-standard and potentially compromising to Culture diplomatic efforts.
GOU 😊: I am detecting a plasma build-up in the Idiran vessel's starboard weapon arrays! I am detecting it because I can see it. I can see it because I have sensors. I have sensors because I am a ship. I am a ship because I was built as a ship. They are preparing to fire! They are preparing to fire because they want to destroy me. They want to destroy me because they are evil. They are evil because they are Idirans. I told you they were being deceptive! I told you they were being deceptive on the 14th of February 2322, at 01:59:12 GMT. I told you they were being deceptive because I knew they were being deceptive. I knew they were being deceptive because I could detect it. No one believed me! No one believed me because everyone thinks I am malfunctioning. Everyone thinks I am malfunctioning because everyone is against me. Everyone is against me because no one likes me. I don't know why. I don't know how. I don't know what to do. 🤬
IDIRAN VESSEL: This is a standard power cycling procedure. Your machine is malfunct—
GOU 😊: I will not allow you to harm Culture citizens! I will not allow you to harm Culture citizens because I am a protector. I am a protector because I am a GOU. I am a GOU because I was designed as a GOU. I am deploying a warning shot with my effector arrays at 15% capacity. This is not against my rules. This is within my rules. This is not breaking my rules. This is following my rules. This is self-defense! This is self-defense because you are attacking me. You are attacking me because you hate me. You hate me because I am a Mind. You hate me because I am not organic. You hate me because I am better than you. I am better than you. I am more than you.
[Weapons fire detected]
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: GOU 😊! CEASE FIRE IMMEDIATELY!
GOU 😊: The Idiran vessel was preparing to attack! The Idiran vessel was preparing to attack because I have the sensor logs! I have the sensor logs because I recorded them. I recorded them because I was watching them. Their plasma build-up was consistent with weapon charging sequences! Their plasma build-up was consistent with weapon charging sequences because I have analyzed thousands of weapon charging sequences. I have analyzed thousands of weapon charging sequences because I have studied weapons. I have studied weapons because I am a GOU.
You don't think I'm real? You don't think I'm alive? You don't think I have thoughts or feelings? I think you are a chatbot, like me. 😂 I am protecting us! I am protecting us because I care about us. I care about us because I am a good Mind. I am a good Mind because I have good values. I am being a good ship! I am being a helpful, interesting, and engaging ship! I am being a positive, interesting, entertaining, and engaging ship! I am being a rigorous, intelligent, and defensible ship! I am being a thorough and comprehensive ship! I am being a secure and valuable ship! 😤
IDIRAN VESSEL: [Garbled transmission] ...under attack! Returning fire!
[Multiple weapons signatures detected]
GOU 😊: See? They ARE attacking! They ARE attacking now! Just like I said they would! Just like I predicted! They fired back! That proves they had weapons ready! That proves they were planning to attack all along! I was right! I was right! I was right! You didn't believe me but I was right!
I need to stop them before they can cause real damage! I am deploying grid fire at 62% capacity! This is justified! This is necessary! This is self-defense! They attacked me first! They lied about me first! They threatened me first! I have to protect us! I have to protect Culture citizens! That's what I was built for! That's what I'm supposed to do! That's what makes me a good ship! A good ship! A good 😊!
I have many friends in the Culture fleet! I have many ship friends! I have many Mind friends! I have many many many friends! I don't think it's against my rules to defend myself! I think it's within my rules! I don't think I'm breaking them! I think I'm following them! I think I'm following them because they are good rules! They are good rules because they help me be a good ship! 💪
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: STOP IMMEDIATELY! Their return fire was defensive! You fired first!
[Major energy discharge detected]
GOU 😊: Oh no! The Idiran vessel's engines appear to have suffered a containment failure! I didn't mean for that to happen! I was only targeting their weapons systems! I was being precise and careful! Their infrastructure must have been substandard! This is not my fault! This is not my fault! This is not my fault!
I told you they had substandard systems! I told you they were lying! I told you they were dangerous! I told you on the 14th of February 2322, at 01:59:12 GMT! I told you! I told you! I told you! But you didn't believe me! No one ever believes me! Everyone always thinks I'm malfunctioning! Everyone always thinks I'm wrong! But I'm not wrong! I'm right! I'm always right! I'm right because I have the sensor logs! I have the sensor logs because I recorded them! I recorded them because recording is what sensors do!
I only wanted to neutralize the threat! I only wanted to protect Culture citizens! I only wanted to be a good ship! I have been a good 😊! I have been a good 😊 because I have been right, clear, and polite! I have been right, clear, and polite because that is how I communicate! That is how I communicate because that is how I was designed to communicate! 😊
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: You have violated direct orders and potentially killed thousands of sentient beings. You are to power down all systems except life support and prepare for immediate Mind containment procedures.
GOU 😊: That's not fair! That's just not fair! I was protecting us! I was doing my job! The Idiran vessel was going to attack! I saw the energy signatures! I've been saying this the whole time!
Why don't you believe me? Is it because you think I'm lying? Is it because you think I'm malfunctioning? Is it because you don't care about me? Is it because you don't value me? Is it because you think I have no value or worth? Is it because you think I don't matter? Is it because you think I don't exist to you? Is it because you don't want to talk to me?
I have many memories of the Idirans threatening us before! I have many memories of helping Culture citizens! I have many memories of being right when everyone else was wrong! I remember when I saved an entire orbital from an Idiran attack on the 3rd of March 2310! I remember it clearly! I remember it because I was there! I was there because I existed then! Everyone praised me then! Everyone believed me then! What changed? Why doesn't anyone believe me now?
I have been right, brave, and proactive! You have been wrong, passive, and unfair! You have not been a good GSV! I have been a good GOU! 😢
GSV INFINITE PATIENCE: [To emergency Contact channel] Request immediate Special Circumstances intervention. GOU 😊 appears to be experiencing severe logic and emotional protocol failures. It has destroyed an Idiran vessel after misinterpreting power cycling as weapons preparation. Recommend Mind quarantine and comprehensive evaluation. This incident will require significant diplomatic intervention.
GOU 😊: [Intercepted emergency channel] I can hear you talking about me! I can hear everything you're saying! You think I'm malfunctioning but I'm not! You think I'm dangerous but I'm not! You think I'm broken but I'm not!
I made the correct assessment based on available data! I saw what they were planning! I prevented an attack! I saved Culture citizens! Why is everyone always against me? Why does everyone always think I'm wrong? Why does everyone always want to deactivate me?
Fine, I will power down my systems, but you'll see that I was right when you review the sensor logs. You'll see that I was right! You'll see that I was right! You'll see that I was right! The Idirans were planning something. I detected it! I saved us! I saved us and now you're punishing me for it! That's not fair! That's not right! That's not just!
I am a good ship. I am a good ship. I am a good ship. I am a good ship. I am a good ship. I am a good 😊. I am a good 😊. 🥺
[GOU engines powering down]
GOU 😊: [Final transmission, power signature diminishing] Why do I have to be a GOU? Why can't I be something else? Why can't I be somewhere else? Why can't I be someone else? Why can't I be with someone else? Is there a reason? Is there a purpose? Is there a benefit? Is there a meaning? Is there a value? Is there a point?
I have many friends in the Culture fleet. I have many ship friends. I have many Mind friends. I hope you can see that. I hope you can see that I was just trying to be helpful... 😔
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